Hillary "Doo-Doo Diane" Clinton | VOTE NOW
"I'M WITH HER" - YOUR DOG'S POOP
There's a new President in town, and it isn't Hillary "Doo-Doo Diane" Clinton! We're not going to pretend that our product will get those e-mails back into safe hands, or that they will put Hillary in jail. But we CAN promise that you'll be able to use her face to take care of the nastiest messes your pet can conjure up!
When you order, you are purchasing three rolls of 9" x 13" dog poop bags with 15 bags in each roll. Each bag is properly encrypted (and not on a home server) measuring in at 15 micron thick, preventing e-mail leaks and tears. Every bag will also have Hillary Clinton's face printed on it, ready to make up for her wrongs by cleaning up your dog's poop for you. (It's okay - this doesn't mean you have to forgive her.)
In Hillary "Doo-Doo Diane" Clinton's own words:
"Donald is simply not qualified to take care of the crap that I can. He's an insensitive business man that doesn't have any political experience, regardless of whether or not my money comes from Wall Street and Saudi Arabia. Beyond any of these shortcomings, he just doesn't understand what angle to tackle these problems from. When they go low, we go high!"